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More quality time together will likely lead to more intimacy and attraction for each other, Dr Shilla added. Work stress can lower your mood for sex, too.Ī simple holiday or a break from the daily grind with your partner can do a lot to improve your sex drive. Medical conditions like diabetes mellitus and cancer, as well as certain medications including painkillers and antidepressants, also affect your libido. Physical attraction to your partner, the emotional connection between you, cultural and religious beliefs about sex formed during your upbringing, and even mood fluctuations throughout the day can influence your desire. Your libido, which refers to your sex drive or your desire for sex, can be affected by multiple factors. Q: WHY DO I HAVE A LOW SEX DRIVE AND HOW CAN I INCREASE IT? It can be stressful to always fixate on timing, and it’s also normal to stumble during the first few tries to be in sync, so take it easy on yourself, she said.ĭr Shilla said regular conversations with your partner about sex can help you both figure out how to experience better sex together, whether you climax at the same time or otherwise. She also said using thicker condoms or trying deep breathing before sex will help improve control. To become more in sync, Dr Shilla suggested focusing on extended foreplay and stimulating other parts of the woman’s body before penetration. “What’s most important is that both of you are happy and having a good time.” “Most women also tend to take more time while men take less time to orgasm,” she added. “Not every couple needs to orgasm at the same time to enjoy sex as each person has different preferences and timings when it comes to climax.”
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“It depends on what is important to you as a couple,” Dr Shilla said. Q: IS CLIMAXING TOGETHER OVERRATED? MY PARTNER GETS UPSET WHEN WE DON’T Open communication can even facilitate a safe and exciting experience for both partners, which in turn increases your comfort level and the likelihood of orgasm. She also advised talking to your partner about trying different ways to enjoy sex and achieve an orgasm. “These exercises can help to relax the muscles around your vagina and release more tension to make sex more fun,” Dr Shilla said. Women with vaginismus can consider exercises that involve muscle-relaxing techniques, such as deep belly breathing, deep squat stretches, or yoga positions like the child’s pose, cobra pose, and happy baby pose. This can enhance your arousal and lead to more intense and pleasurable orgasms. Q: CAN CERTAIN EXERCISES MAKE SEX MORE ENJOYABLE OR LESS PAINFUL?ĭr Shilla explained that exercises such as kegels, which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, improve blood flow to the pelvic area. “ Relationship and emotional issues like previous sexual trauma can also play a part,” she said, where sex is associated with pain, leading to tense muscles during sex. You may have vaginismus, which is an involuntary tightening of the vaginal opening, or endometriosis, a chronic condition in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus – both can cause pain during sex.ĭr Shilla also noted that pain may sometimes be due to vaginal infections such as vaginitis, which refers to the inflammation of the vagina, or previous injuries that occurred during childbirth. Common reasons for pain include lack of lubrication and not enough foreplay. It is common for some women to experience pain during sex, said Dr Shilla, but there should be more pleasure than pain.